Monday, August 23, 2010

To Become What I Might Be ...

When I logged on to Twitter earlier this evening, I came across the following tweet quoting Lao Tzu: “When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.” If there is such a thing as divine intervention, here it was working its magic.

For too long now I have been held hostage by this unsettling feeling of being unhinged. Change has been a constant in my life. I’ve never been afraid to try something new, take a risk — in a word: go to where the truth lies. But when I am honest with myself, all the change that I’ve experienced in the last year — a new love, a new home, a new city — it has all been good yet overwhelming. It has strengthened me as much as it has knocked me off kilter. The cost? My artwork. It has been a struggle getting to the page, the easel and the piano. I have tried to edge forward, one day at a time, trying to be patient.

I have been in creative limbo before, and I know that I can overcome it again now if I am willing to see myself for who I am so that I can “become what I might be.” So I am back to setting small, doable tasks. Like this morning, I edited three pages of a manuscript, and this evening I worked a little more on the manuscript. When I came home for lunch, I sat down for ten minutes at the piano and practiced a recent composition.

Despite feeling “unhinged,” despite the long months of creative limbo, today I managed to do, as Julia Cameron encourages, “the next right thing.” Today I soldiered on, clinging steadfast to my dreams and the hope that, despite the turbulent creative weather of late, I will succeed.

2 comments:

  1. Good luck, M! One creative task at a time will be still a wonderful creation.

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  2. Hi Marcus! This is indeed very moving and inspiring, can I Retweet this to my followers in twitter? if so you are more than welcome to Rt towards me and from there let it do it's magic.

    I believe that the harder it gets the greater it comes! So cheers to you, and I hope this is an introduction to a Great friendship :) Thanks you're artist friend

    Mary

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