Friday, August 13, 2010


When my alarm sounded at 5 :20 this morning, I wasn’t ready to get up. My head felt a bit heavy, my body limp. Last night I had attended a Wine and Cheese at Cep d’argent, a winery in Magog (Québec), and perhaps the wine had affected me more than I thought. I had, after all, gone to the event right after work without eating. I lay in bed, my mind cloudy, trying to decide what to do: get up or sleep a little longer. I reset the alarm for 6 :00 when I bounced out of bed, ready to take on the day.

That feeling lasted from the time it took me to walk from my bedroom to the bathroom.

Balancing my artwork with the rest of my life is, right now, proving to be a challenge. There is a lot that is still new. It’s only been eight months since I moved to Sherbrooke, and I am still trying to make my way here, settle in, build a home. I have a new job, and after not working for seven months, getting back into the working routine remains a challenge. When I wake up in the morning and when I go to sleep at night I feel wiped out – even if I haven’t accomplished much during the day.

What is suffering is my art. I’m writing less, but I am writing. It’s hard getting to the piano as well as the easel. I’m trying to be patient, to let myself ride out this period of transition (which seems neverending). I feel lost, but not abandoned, but I haven’t found a way to get back on the horse.

I remind myself: Life unfolds one step at a time, one day at a time. But there are days, like today, when it is difficult to see beyond the moment, to believe that my productivity will improve – that I will step back into my self.

It is a matter of perspective.

Just for today I am trying to, once again, see the beauty that is this world, to survive this creative weather.

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