Friday, December 25, 2009

A Christmas, With Love

It is Christmas morning. I’m sitting on my studio sofa upstairs surrounded by boxes, my three cats playing in the background. The view out the window is of the snow-covered roofs across the street. The branches on the sickly pine tree swing gently in the wind. The sky is a dull grey. Today’s forecast calls for freezing rain.

For a number of years I have tried to “avoid” Christmas. It is a holiday that I’ve had little tolerance for. The focus on gift giving as opposed to spending time with loved ones and friends. The work lunches that you’re “coerced” to attend if you lack the resolve to say no. The crowds in the mall, and how edgy people easily become. The rush, rush, rush of trying to get everything done—gift shopping, gift wrapping, preparation of the Christmas meal—all while doing all the ordinary things we do in life, like work, love and play. Somehow we’re supposed to make it through, carry on as though this is normal. We succumb to the pressure of the Christmas season, sometimes feeling both resentment and stress. Have we forgotten the meaning of Christmas? Perhaps …

Christmas means many things to different people. For me, at this time of year, it is important to spend time with those who are important in my life—who have been there, consistently, for me during times of success and during troublesome times. And that is what I am doing. I am spending time with my friends who had seen me through a separation and assisted me in setting up my new home; with those who encouraged me as I sought new employment; with those who encouraged me as a new love came into my life and has blossomed.

This is my last Christmas in Ottawa because in January I leave for Sherbrooke to be closer to the person who makes my heart sing. I felt peace and joy last night as we shared a succulent Christmas Eve dinner and then attended the Candle Light Service at Parkdale United Church. Today we will venture to my friend Mary’s for a wonderful feast celebrating the spirit of the season. There is a feeling of absolute rightness, that all is well in the world. I am truly blessed.

This is Christmas, with love.

1 comment:

  1. It's so amazing that you're with someone who "makes your heart sing". Your openness to love and be loved is inspiring.