Thursday, November 17, 2011

On Music, Writing and Doubt

For the last couple of weeks I’ve been holed up at home, completing the second round of edits requested by my editor and then moving on to work on another manuscript. As the publication date nears for my debut novel, Freestyle Love, I find myself shifting gears.

It’s not so much that I’m shifting gears as I am giving myself over to a force greater than me. That force is music. When I am not writing, I am at the piano trying to capture melodies that are coming way too fast. This is a bit unnerving for me. I don’t know what to do with this music, how I’m really supposed to proceed. I am waiting for guidance, and meanwhile, I am practicing patience. Normally I would simply play a song over and over again and then record it. Now I am taking the time to write out the music. It’s not my forte, writing out music, but I’m doing it, one note at time. Growing up I never liked the “technical” side of music lessons (practicing scales, triads, etc.). Now, as the music pours onto the pages, I am going back to basics. I am a beginner again.

The last few days have been unusually warm for November, and I’ve done by best, too, to take advantage of this great weather. While I’m still running (in shorts), I stopped listening to music while I run. Running without music, I completely disconnect from this world, quiet my mind, be at one with myself. It teaches me to listen, not to search out answers but to simply let the answers come.

The road before me seems somewhat uncertain but I’m not worried. I’ve always managed to end up in the right place at the right time. No matter way lays before me, no matter where the road may lead, I will again practice patience. I will let the answer come.

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