Momentum

4:14 am. That’s when my cell phone rang, rousing me out of my already fragile sleep (still trying to regulate my sleep pattern in the aftermath of my mother’s death). Without batting an eyelash, I selected the “ignore call” option and returned my cell phone to the nightstand. Ten seconds later my landline rang, and I bounced out of the bed and, somewhat dazed, raced into the living room to answer the phone. It was a friend’s daughter explaining that her mother was in pain, insufferable pain, and needed a lift to the hospital. I dressed, put in my contacts and, my heart still racing, rushed out into the darkness of the night in search of my friend. It had begun to snow.

7:37 am. It’s been over three hours since we arrived at the Centre Hospitalier Universitaire De Sherbrooke - Hôtel Dieu, sitting in the uncomfortable chairs in the ER waiting room. My friend tracked down a nurse and told her that they would be “picking her up off the floor” if someone didn’t see her right away. Two minutes later she was called into an examination room, at which time I went and secured one of those great tasting “gourmet” coffees brewed in a machine to give me a bit of a boost. My coffee finished, and nothing more for me to do but wait, I put pen to page.

Despite the middle-of-the-night interruption, I’m working hard to hang on to the momentum that has been building over the past few weeks. Taking to the stage as a singer-songwriter has renewed my confidence in my creative talent – in music, in writing, in painting. My performance reminded me that I am, first and foremost, an artist. That is where my heart is, that is who I am.

The challenge now is to keep on creating, and to find a way to balance all that I want to do. It’s easy to integrate writing into my day by getting up early in the morning before heading to work. And writing can be done anywhere (like in an ER waiting room). Incorporating my painting and music into my daily routine is more of a challenge.

To get to the piano – to practice as much as create – it needs to be the first thing that I do upon returning from work. On the days that I run, by the time I cool down, shower and change, and then get supper ready, it’s “too late” to practice (that’s apartment living). And painting … not knowing how long I’m going to need to spend in front of the easel once I start work on a painting, it’s easy to say, “I’ll do that tomorrow.” Then there’s spending time with mon amour, friends – pursuing some of my other interests as well (baking, kayaking, photography, visits to art galleries) … how am I supposed to do it all? I don’t.

But now I have the momentum, the drive, to keep what matters most at the top of my to-do list. One step at a time, one task at a time … that keeps me moving forward, anchored to my dreams – happy in the life that I’ve created for myself.

8:53 am. I’m still at the hospital, still waiting. But I can say, regardless of the circumstances, that life is beautiful.