Friday, September 25, 2009

Stepping into Fall

The air is chill this morning, making for a brisk walk to work. The sun is slow to rise these days and early to bed. Leaves fade from green to oranges and reds and gold. Fall has edged out summer. A new season begins.

This is a time of renewal, a time to fall back into old routines, catch up with old friends, savour life. That’s what I’ve learned over the course of the last few months. Maybe I’ve always known it, I just needed to find my way back to the “beginning”.

I’ve realized that I am at my best when I am fully engaged in life, moving ahead full throttle, hardly taking a moment to breath. Writing is, then easier; I allow myself to write, badly even, knowing I can polish it later. I’m able to show up at the easel with more confidence, more willing to be a conduit, to let the painting move through me.

Running full throttle …

On Sunday, 20 September 2009, I completed my third half-marathon, achieving a personal best with a time of 1:44:03. I had decided, well ahead of the Army Run, that this would be my last competitive race. I had come to see these long distance races, the training especially, as burdensome and distracting—eating away at time I would otherwise spend writing. Achieving a personal best time gave me food for thought. I had failed to see that when the writing feels stale, when I can’t seem to steady my pen to the page, a run—short or long—seems to prime the pump. Am I ready to give that up? I’m not sure.

This much I do know. I believe that I’m doing what most people don’t: I’m moving confidently in the direction of my dreams, and I’m doing it my way.

Just back from a run, the pump is primed, and I’m raring to go.

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