Monday, February 3, 2014

The Awakening

Laurens van de Post told us, “Life is its own journey, presupposes its own change and movement, and one tries to arrest them at one’s eternal peril.” I first came across this quote when I was a student at Dalhousie University, and it has stayed with me ever since.

And this journey … There have been character-building times when the very essence of who I am has been challenged. I had to stop and ask myself some hard questions: Am I where I want to be? Am I being true to who I am? If not, what’s changed? And how can I get myself back on track? There have also been good times when I’ve felt like I’ve made it to the top of Mount Everest I had arrived at the top of my game and the world could hear me roar.

I thought that it was time to, once again, take stock of life, my life: Am I the person I had always hoped to be? Am I moving confidently in the direction of my dreams? Am I being true to myself, and the values I hold dear? With the assistance of Awaken the Giant Within, by Anthony Robbins, I was able to evaluate my life. After reading the book and completing the exercises that were most relevant to me, I was reassured that my life is on track. I am happy with my life and where I am. Is there room for improvement? Are there changes I could make? Absolutely!

Am I the person I had always hoped to be? Yes. And as I continue on this journey, I hope to remain faithful to my credo: Speak in truth. Act with integrity.  React with conviction. Be committed. Love unconditionally.  Smile.  Laugh often and much. Balance home and work. Look beyond what I can see and see beyond.  Believe in myself.  Believe in others. Prioritize and do what must be done and enjoy.

Am I moving confidently in the direction of my dreams? Yes and no. I realized some time ago that my confidence had been shaken a bit after the publication of my first novel. While I kept writing, I stopped submitting my work for publication. Rejection became an almost in surmountable fear. But I understood that the key to my “recovery” lay in my writing. I had kept on writing, day in and day out. I continued to do what I wanted to do and felt called to do. Do you know what? In the last week alone I’ve submitted a novel manuscript to five publishers. Writing is my passion, my life, my modus operandi, and I’m going to work tirelessly and stubbornly to achieve my dream.

Am I being true to myself and the values I hold dear? Ninety-nine percent of the time, yes. When I asked myself, “What was most important to me in life?” the values that guide my life were these: Creativity, Cheerfulness, Love, Health, Honesty, Intelligence, Happiness, Gratefulness/Thanksgiving, Passion, Success/Accomplishment, Financial Security, Awareness and Influence. These are my values, and they keep my grounded and hold me accountable for who I am and how I want to live my life.

I love how Marianne Williamson puts it in A Return to Love: “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

1 comment:

  1. Glad you are on track! Thank you for taking us on the journey with you. We are very proud of you.