Monday, December 9, 2013

Running on Empty

For the past couple of weeks I’ve had to face down a scary demon: Procrastination. It has not been easy, either, trying to stay focused to not let myself be distracted. It wasn’t enough that I was procrastinating, but the universe had to throw into the mix a debilitating, multi-day migraine that sent me running to the medical clinic down the street. It was as though, just as I was beginning to focus settle down and work that the migraine appeared to throw me off kilter. It worked. Sort of. The pain was so intense I couldn’t work. I could barely sit up straight. But when the pain ebbed, I managed to get back to work, to focus on what matters.

The good news is that I’m back on my feet again. I’m still battling procrastination, but it doesn’t loom as large and heavy as it used to over me. I’m back in control, somewhat. Daily to-do lists are proving to be a great tool for me. It was four o’clock when I sat down to write this post, and I’ve almost completed the ten priority items on my to-do list. That shows me that, just for today, procrastination isn’t having its way with me. I’m the one in control.

It’s all about balance.
I think one of the reasons why I’ve been procrastinating (or feeling overwhelmed and, therefore, letting myself be distracted) is that I haven’t been able to resist the temptation to rush, rush, rush. I’ve been completely and utterly swept up in the hustle and bustle of life, especially with the holiday season upon us. On top of my writing, and day job, and my roles as partner, friend, brother and uncle, there is the added stress of the holiday season. The extra baking and cooking. The expectation, from family and friends, that we will see each other over the holidays. The pressure to buy gifts. How can I possibly do everything in a day that matters to me?

I’m slowing down. Or at least I’m trying to. My migraine last week reminded me that I can’t do anything if I don’t have my health. Confronting procrastination, I felt as though I was running on empty. Perhaps that was part of the illusion. I just needed to slow down, restore a sense of balance that will, in turn, give way to a natural ebb and flow to life. That’s when everything will come together, and allow joy to, rightly, blossom in my heart. And then I will, once again, have the strength and courage to just keep on keeping on.

1 comment:

  1. Glad you are feeling better! I am glad you are taking some time for yourself int he busyness.