When I woke up this morning
(Saturday, 5 October) it was dark. At 4:15 am, that’s no surprise. An hour
later, a taxi whisked me north across the city to the airport. Later in the
morning I arrived in Ottawa to bright, sunny skies. Returning to Toronto, the
sky was overcast and the air was cool. At least, for a short time, the Ottawa
sun helped to lighten my mood.
I’m a bit tired. Exhausted,
actually. Over the past couple of weeks I’ve been putting the pedal to the
metal. When I’m not flying from one coast to the other, I’m writing, blogging,
editing, rewriting, journaling —
staying focused and working hard to edge my creative projects forward. Staying
focused, I’ve managed to complete the rewrite of one novel and have started in
on the rewrite of a novella. Writing daily holds me in check, keeps me
grounded. And I’m thankful for that. Then there are the other life tasks that
have to be done as well, like cooking, laundry and, ugh, cleaning. The days are
full and, while I sometimes end up rundown, witnessing my projects come full
circle feels good. It offers a sense of accomplishment, and hope.
The glimpse of the sun in Ottawa this
morning lightened my mood because, for most of the week, I’ve been carrying
with me an experience from last Sunday. Each day we interact with others,
coming into contact with some who are extremely positive in life — and no matter what
obstacles are thrown in their path they simply find a way to soldier on. They
don’t impose the negativity swirling about them onto others. Then there are
those who thrive on negativity, take an almost joyful pleasure in criticizing
others, beating them down. It’s the latter that has preoccupied my mind since
Sunday when I had to deal with an extremely negative person who took that
joyful pleasure in beating others down.
So my question is this: Why is it
that, when things aren’t necessarily going our way in life, that we (this is
the royal we — some people, not all) find it necessary to tear
down those around us? Why can’t we suffer in silence? Or better yet, maybe we should practice the
age-old adage: “If you have nothing nice to say then don’t say anything at
all.” We live in an age where it seems like it’s not just easier, but more the
norm, to criticize, deconstruct, than to try to build something up, attempt to
see a silver lining. Watch how celebrities are lambasted for what they wear
while walking the red carpet (i.e., the now famous “Sofa Dress” worn by Kim
Kardashian at the Met Gala). Harsh reviews kill a movie’s chance at the box
office (i.e., The Lone Ranger, After Earth). We may or may not like a
film, but we forget that the actors and directors and staff showed up day after
day to give their all. We can dash off a 200-word review that pointedly
describes why a book is “bad,” forgetting that the author worked tirelessly for
months, possibly years, on that novel that, for them, is the pinnacle of a
dream. We may not hesitate to tell someone that their cupcakes were dry (and
that ours are better!) when it’s not the cupcakes that count but the effort and
spirit of generosity.
I’m stumped. I know that we all
face challenges in life. There are days when we stumble across the crusty
sales clerk, the snappish flight attendant, the grumpy bus driver. There are
days when the service we expect from our bank, normally stellar, is off the
mark. There are days when the wait in the supermarket checkout line feels
unnecessarily long. I don’t understand the necessity, in such circumstances, to
speak rudely to others, to belittle them, to use them as our personal punching
bag. Where’s the humanity? There are times when it is necessary to provide
critical feedback (constructive criticism if you will), but sometimes, in the
heat of the moment, I think we need to stop and breath and think before we speak and act.
It takes a lot of energy to be
negative all the time. It almost becomes a state of mind, and it is, quite
frankly, unattractive. Maybe that’s why I do my best to lead a positive life. I
smile and laugh a lot, which seems to be contagious. I guess I’ve learned to
not take myself, and life, too seriously but to try and simply enjoy the
journey. Climbing up the mountains or wading through the valleys, I remind
myself of the blessing in my life —
my partner, family and friends. I try to focus on what really matters to me,
and that, in turn, allows me to see
the beauty that is this world.
Nhat Hanh reminded us, “People deal too much with the negative, with
what is wrong. Why not try and see positive things, to just touch those things
and make them bloom?” This is what I try to do each and every day.
Very well put! First of all, I am glad to see you have accomplished so much creatively, despite your busy schedule. I think your point is well-taken, however. We should look at the good things we have and not dwell on the bad ones. You are indeed one of my big blessings. I am currently sick and am off to the duty clinic today, but I consider myself to be blessed with my family and friends. I hope we will talk soon!
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