A Beginning in the End

A few weeks ago I returned to Sherbrooke (Quebec) after a four-month absence. I had left Sherbrooke (the place that I called “home” since January 2010) in mid-February, and I had no choice but to, finally, head back there since my lease expired at the end of June. I chose mid-June to go back to Sherbrooke and pack up my apartment in order to avoid the mayhem that overtakes Quebec on July 1. While the rest of the country celebrates Canada Day, July 1 is “Moving Day” in Quebec, as so aptly demonstrated by recent Best Buy ads.

I returned to Sherbrooke carrying a certain anxiousness for things past as much as for things to come. In accepting a new job, I had no choice but to leave Sherbrooke and relocate to Toronto. When I first left in mid-February, I thought that I would have time to go back to Sherbrooke from time to time, but a combination of circumstances and a lack of desire kept me first in Montréal and then in Toronto.

Living in Sherbrooke had been a time of renewal and rejuvenation. I had taken the time to recharge my batteries per se, focus on a couple of artistic projects and see them through to completion. Living in Sherbrooke, I came to a better understanding of my artist self; I was able to finally see my worth. Leaving Sherbrooke ended up feeling like a sort of cleansing, as if I were disconnecting from a past life and entering into a new one.

Part of that cleansing involved selling off a number of items — fridge, stove, washer, dryer, sofa, end tables, dining room table and chairs, bedroom set, lamps, etc. The woman looking after my cats during my absence had graciously volunteered to sell those items for me. When I arrived in Sherbrooke the house was, for all intent and purposes, empty. My four cats had found new, loving homes, so all that remained were boxes, my desk, two armchairs, my artwork and my piano. And all of that went into storage.

For the first time in a long time, I felt whole — that the risks I had taken were finally beginning to pay off. I was living on my own terms, walking by faith. I was … I am doing as Goethe encouraged us, to “Dream no small dreams for they have no power to move the hearts of men.”

Leaving Sherbrooke was a beginning as much as an end. Perhaps, and most important of all, Sherbrooke was just the place marking where two roads diverged and, after much messing about, I was compelled to take “the road less traveled by.” And, for me, that has  make all the difference.