Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Home for the Holidays

Yesterday, the sky was a dull grey and a light snow tumbled to the ground. It was the first day of winter, although it felt like winter had been hanging around for a few weeks now. It was cold outside, -6°C (-13°C with the wind-chill) and I would have rather holed myself up at home than have gone to the office. But alas …

Winter brings with it, for some, the winter blues. The never-ending grey skies, the lack of sunlight, the bitter cold – it all contributes to a certain restlessness, sluggishness, that can grind life to a halt. It can manifest as Seasonal Affective Disorder, but in my case I have slipped into a depression. This is my third depressive episode requiring medication since I was first diagnosed in 1997 (the last time medication was required was in 2001, after my father passed away). I know it’s not just the winter blues. The fall has been a tumultuous time following my mother’s sudden passing. Combined with a lack of sleep, it was “inevitable” that I would arrive at this point. So here I am, still moving forward one day at a time, one step at a time.

Despite this stormy weather – suffering through the annoying side effects of a new medication, the lack of sleep, the crisp winter air – there is joy all around. While I’m not a big fan of this time of year (the office parties, buying gifts no one needs), I’m looking forward to Christmas because I’m going to be spending it with my nephews, six-month-old twins, in Nova Scotia. It has been ten years since I last spent Christmas at home, and the twins remind us that life is precious, and that we need to make the best of life each and every day.

May the joy of the season be with you all. Thank you for following along on my journey, for your encouragement, love and support. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. See you in 2011!

1 comment:

  1. Hi, M. We love you and are looking forward to seeing you over the holidays. Have a safe trip! Love, H-A