Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Panic

Today the sun shone brightly, and for a moment it was easy to forget that we’re in the middle of November. The bright sunshiny day was a reprieve from the dark grey days that have the potential to bring us down, hold us hostage in those “winter blues”. Today I felt myself lifted up, so to speak.

For the last week or so I’ve been panicking. Creatively, life is going very well. I’ve done a couple of public readings. One of my paintings is on display in a local company as part of a jumelage (pairing) between artists and businesses in the city. This coming Sunday, as part of the 16th Edition of Arts Fleurimont (16e édition d’Arts Fleurimont), I will perform some of my original musical compositions. This is a first for me. And I’m nervous. I’m nervous because it’s been a long time since I’ve played in public. I’m nervous because I caught a cold at the beginning of the month and my voice is not quite 100%. I’m nervous because I will be performing in French. I’m trying to remain confident that everything – from Thursday’s vernissage to Sunday’s performance – will go off without a hitch, and that my voice will be, once again, en forme.

Yes, I’m taking a risk, and that can feel, at times, uncomfortable. In a way I am stepping outside my comfort zone. Is it worth the risk? Absolutely … because as Katherine Mansfield reminds us: “Risk! Risk anything! Care no more for the opinions of others, for those voices. Do the hardest thing on earth for you. Act for yourself. Face the truth.”

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