Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Reprise: Meditations of a Writer

“Deciding to blog about writing, the difficulty I have is where to begin. I'm not at the beginning of my writing journey, nor have I reached that definitive climax where I'm shortlisted for the Giller Prize with the likes of Margaret Atwood, Joseph Boyden or Mary Swan. I'm somewhere in the middle—that vast vortex where you're either ready to chuck it all or you have the faith to keep on keeping on […]”

That’s how my blog started out 13 months ago on 20 June 2009. In a way, a lot hasn’t changed since then — in terms of my writing, that is. I’m still somewhere in the middle of my writing journey. Each day I attempt to do a little to edge myself forward in my writing, and each day there are new challenges to face. I am thankful for the “good” writing days when everything flows together, the pen glides easily across the page and the characters playing about in my mind come to life. On the “bad” writing days I pray for guidance, that even if I only scribble down a paragraph that I have still accomplished something — even if it’s not the goal I may have hoped for. Yes, I pray: “God, you take care of the quality, I’ll take care of the quantity.”

But if something has changed, perhaps it’s how I’ve come to see myself in conjunction with my writing, as well as my other artistic endeavours. My dream is still to publish a novel, but I’m not going to rush ahead just because it may seem like others around me are having more success with their writing. I’m going to do the necessary work on my own time, on my own schedule. This isn’t a race. No matter how stormy the creative weather, I show up at the page. That’s something for me to be proud of. So I will, as I have learned to do, simply go with the flow.

So to end here, is to begin again …

I am a writer. I write because each morning when I awake, and at night when I lay my head down to sleep, writing is what becomes me. It quells within me, gnaws at my heart, enlivens my soul. I write because of the stories within me that I long to tell. I write because of the beauty that is this world. I write because of the ugliness that is this world and perhaps, with my words, I can challenge it. I write because I have a vision of today that may spillover into tomorrow. I write because it is the passion that consumes me. I write because writing is all of me. Writing is who I am.

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